I've decided to borrow heavily (well in fact steal) Sheil's format for writing about our time on the boat. The sheer hecticness and surreal nature of the shoot made writing a traditional diary nigh on impossible. 6 days since we returned to the UK, 14 hours of sleep last night, I've caught up and feeling good so here goes...
Things I learned on Goth Cruise
Dapper Ian at Karaoke
1. Cruise Ships are surreal, surreal places.
Although I studied the 'virtual tour' of the Explorer of the Seas on the RCCL website, nothing fully prepared me for the intense, neon lit experience that was simply walking around the ship. I would kill to have been in on the interior design meeting when the boat was being planned...
"...I know I've got to keep everyone happy so I've planned Annie Leibowitz photos, an English pub with a giant lantern, a sports bar, an all you can eat buffet, weird carpeted lift floors with the days of the week set into them, and why not throw in a Harley Davidson in the full scale shopping promenade next to the bizarre climbing wall sculpture for good measure."
2. I have a terrible memory for names
The Goth Cruise group was a lot of new names to remember and I lose count of the amount of conversations I had with the crew to no avail along the lines of "You know, I was just talking to them, man in his 30's, eyeliner, wearing black...oh, forget it. The colour of choice made it incredibly difficult to describe at a distance.
Final photo call for the Goth Cruise group
3. It is possible to overdose of sea sickness medication
The combination of lingering illness in NYC and my anticipated fear of sea sickness, sorting permissions onboard ship and meeting the Goth Cruise group for the first time meant that I took far, far too many drugs and pretty much poisoned myself on day 1. After a few difficulties filming in the port itself (due to security) the staff onboard ship couldn't have been more helpful. I am convinced that we wouldn't have been able to make this film in the UK. Nothing was too much trouble; music was switched off for interviews and the lights subtly adjusted so that our cameras could see. Truly amazing, not a jobsworth amongst them.
The Goth Cruise group welcomed us with open arms and a whoop and a holler. It was a moment I'd been fearing as our acceptance could make or break the film and it couldn't have been more positive. Even the small handful of people who declined to be in the film for professional or personal reasons were very gracious about it.
I sat up on the top deck after the meet and greet looking over the floating neon palace in front of me and the sea behind and breathed a huge sigh of relief.
4. Goths love karaoke and hot tubs and cocktails
DJ Carrie Monster in the Marharajah Lounge
It's fair to say that the Goth group stole the show at Karaoke (aka Scaryoke) almost every night. Not the shy and retiring hand stapled to forehead Goths of legend this group revelled in the event and made it entertaining for everyone. They accompanied my bellowing of 'Don't stop me now' with Shaun of the Dead Zombie killing actions and stormed the dance floor to 'We are Family' sung by a 'norm'. Bob ultimately stole the show with a spirited rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody via the B52's accompanied by a (utili) kilt chorus.
Steph enjoys the karaoke
All this was washed down with fruity rum cocktails and most of the singers relaxed afterwards in the adult only hot tub for a nightly stewing of 'Goth Soup'.
5. I make films about pirates
My daughter is convinced that Steven and I are away making a film about pirates. On each phonecall home she asks us what the pirate's names are and what they're up to. This all started when Steven was making his horror "Mum and Dad". As he went off to set each day she would ask what his film was about and as he couldn't really give her the truth - it's a blood curdling Texas chain saw massacre-esque horror set in the Heathrow flight path - he evaded the subject until she convinced herself that Daddy was making a pirate film. The Goths do have a certain pirate chic about them...
6. Bermuda is like a slice of England, kind of.
After two days at sea it was lovely to get on to the dry land of Bermuda. The late sunrise meant that I started the day watching the sun rise from our cabin balcony at a very respectable 7.30am. Bermuda, as part of the British Empire feels weirdly English - everyone drives on the left, all the traffic lights and phone boxes are British, all in the blazing sunshine. It reminded me of my Mother's child hood photo albums growing up in British colonies. On Day one we went to the crystal caves with Ian, Bridie and Kyle. Our accommodating host let us into the rainbow cave on our own to do some filming, amazing sometimes the access that a video camera and a fluffy can attain you.
Our very amenable taxi driver drove us around the island so I could replicate the seaside shots I had got in Whitby - most striking was a hillside cemetery, like St Mary's in Whitby complete with a palm tree and polar white grave stones.
Bermuda Cemetery
On the ship I have been VERY aware of my English accent, not least because certain members of the GC group have been asking me to say "dirty" at regular intervals. A lady at breakfast in Fort Montgomery could spot my accent after only 2 syllables. I hope it doesn't make me sound stuck up - I have noticed that Americans keep doing impressions of the lift voice and sniggering each time the faceless voice announces "deck 7".
Although we share a language, it's English but not as we know it. I keep getting tripped up, particularly in interviews. With Mike, embarrassingly I told him that after his powder was applied (prior to interview) not to worry as he looked "dewy" he heard "Jewy" and replied that he looks Jewy everyday, he must have thought I was starting the interview with a light spot of anti semitism. argh. Other confusing phrases were "fag cruise" as everyone was smoking, "put me down" on the list, oh many more that can be listed here. i felt like I needed an interpreter.
7. Every woman should make room in their wardrobe for at least one corset.
I was most jealous of the Goth wardrobe on formal night. Watching Miranda constrain her formidable bosom (literally, she got dressed in the background of shot while Lobster made his transformation into Satan, I still need to watch the rushes to see if they will be making their IFC debut) into a rock hard corset creating a powerful hourglass outline made me want to celebrate my curves and get tied into a corset of my own. Goth is certainly an inclusive and broad church and the women in corsets rocked, and proved that beauty doesn't just come in one size. It was very liberating and I totally understood the appeal of wearing a look that curves were indeed a bonus.
9. Little old ladies from Jersey love Satan
When I met Lobster at home in North Carolina earlier this year I had already heard a lot about 'Satan Night' where Lobster doesn't just dress up in Goth gear, he is " a hasher, a burner, a goth, oh my" so he does something a bit more left field and dresses up as Satan amongst other guises.
Ken transforms Lobster into Satan
Lobster it is fair to say is no wall flower and I got the distinct impression that he feeds off the attention that his appearance elicits. There was a moment when it appeared his elaborate make up was in vain, he strode up and down the main promenade and was generally ignored by the small crowd eating pizza in the cafe. He blamed the presence of the film crew, my feeling was that there just wasn't enough people around, maybe it was a bit of both. A quick trip up in the lift to the packed upper deck where the cruise population at large were enjoying a mammoth all you can eat buffet party - and Satan met his public. I had anticipated that some people would be offended but everyone was relaxed on holiday and duly lined up to get their photo taken with Satan. On the whole throughout the week I got the impression that people on holiday are pretty much open to anything. The film crew just seemed to add to the frisson of excitement for little old ladies getting their picture taken with Satan.
Satan and the Night Auditor
Monika our production manager appeared to have terrible sunburn all over her decolletage, on closer inspection and the tell-tale glitter trail revealed that Satan had indeed 'left his mark'.
10. I don't like being served
After two meals in the main dining room I realised that I had had enough of being served, formally. All the crumbing down and serviette flourishing did my head in. Maybe it's my in built Britishness but the anonymity of the buffet was a welcome oasis. I'm convinced that if the ship was sinking there would be a fleet of staff on the lifeboats offering aperitifs.
11. Cruise ships are big places
The Explorer of the Seas was a 14 deck high mammoth beast of a location to tackle in only 5 days. Made me yearn at times for the 4 teenage bedrooms of my last film Teenland. In the same way that I discovered the hard way just how big the States is earlier this year (on the pilot shoot - we flew from Portland Oregon to Tampa, Florida in one day then attempted to film that evening, oh my!) it became apparent very quickly that the ship was massive and our walkie talkies were sadly not up to the job. We spent far too much of the shoot bellowing - "can you hear me, hello, hello" into an unresponsive receiver as the 2 filming units failed to communicate. It made the shoot unwieldy and was like living in a world before mobiles and emails. Next time compulsory Blackberrys all round.
12. RP Games are very complicated
I tried, on a number of occasions to get to grips with card based role playing games. It may have been the pina coladas, it may have been the jet lag but I just could not retain ANY of the rules or tactics.
13. The all you can eat buffet has left me with unrealistic expectations about food and portion sizes.
I thought nothing of trying 4 different puddings, because they were there. I think that's a common experience on board ship. I regularly saw people move up from the formal dining up to the buffet for a second sitting. The only saving grace was that we were running around a lot otherwise I would have been waddling back to Nottingham.
14. Goth dancing is fun
I learnt the classic - "Catch the bat, Love the bat and shun the bat", "the shiny penny" and "kick the smurf" dance moves on Goth night in the Chamber. For more info please visit Voltaire. www.voltaire.com
Annabelle Evil and myself on formal night
--
So now I'm back home and start the edit on Monday with 90 (!) hours of footage to go through. The question is - do I have a film in there, well time will tell. I've certainly got a film, but what that film is yet is to be seen.
This is the exciting bit where the film you intended to make becomes the film you shot and takes shape in the edit. there's always compromises but there's always exciting discoveries in the details of the material.
The group were incredibly generous with their time and open in their interviews and the crew worked like dogs. I think/hope I may just have a good film about why people choose Goth, but the proof of the pudding and all that... wish me luck and watch this space, I'll know soon enough.
Facebook
-725133.jpg)
-790964.jpg)
